Breakthroughs in Cancer: Teen to Cure Cancer Learns to Use a Pipet

Earlier today a major breakthrough in cancer research was made in the dank 2nd basement of Porter Biosciences. Becca, one of CU’s bright eyed and bushy tailed freshman learned how to use a pipet in her introductory biology course. “I’ve just like been interested in curing cancer my entire life because I want to like help people…oh and I’m also a cancer sign!”

Properly operating a pipet is a major milestone for this future nobel prize laureate- but it hasn’t come without its fair share of ups and downs. “Last week our TA was really drilling the whole ‘don’t eat the agarose’ thing and that was really tough for me to get, I mean it just looks so delicious.” We reached out to Becca’s mother for comment. “I was a communications major in college but I knew the moment Becca decided on molecular celery and developmental biology she was smart enough to find a cure for cancer.”

Becca has wanted to become a doctor since discovering how much money they make the summer before her freshman year. “The only problem with the field is basically that I hate seeing blood, like that’s so gross.”

The precocious freshman is already setting her sights on the bigger picture “Honestly, I feel like this whole biology thing might be too easy, so I’ve been considering switching to poly sci so I can be the president someday.”