Ladies and gentlemen, it’s finally happened.

As the world and our collective psyche has deteriorated over the past decade, we have all become more accustomed to accepting ridiculous news stories every day. Remember when Obama wearing a tan suit was a national news story? Those were the days. Nowadays, you would read “Trump Linked to Infant Cannibalism Ring”, and just sort of… accept it and move on.

This descent into madness is a blessing and a curse for satire writers. On one hand, there is no shortage of ridiculous topics to riff on at our weekly Earth Muffins meetings. On the other, people read headlines like “CU Relocating Students to Underground Tunnels” or “Ralphie VI Drafted as Colorado Running Back” and actually believe that shit. We get people “Eating the Muffin” with nearly every article.

But now, it’s finally happened. The headline to end all headlines. Trump was endorsed by the Taliban. Not even Magnum Caepa, The Onion’s Resident Divination Wizard,  could have called that. After I read that headline, I knew we were doomed. How could I ever write something as ridiculous as reality now? Will everyone completely lose their ability to distinguish satire from reality?

These questions have kept me awake for days on end now. I guess I have no recourse but to get back to writing satire, but it’s not the same.

Reality has robbed me even of my ability to make fun of reality.