(Open up, man) What do you want, man?
(They just caught me) You let them catch you?
(I don’t know how I let this happen) With who?
(That 17-year-old, you know) Man
(I don’t know what to do) Say it wasn’t you

Bill Barr came in and caught me red-handed
Creeping with young girls and whores.
Pictures of naked women I’m showing 
To my colleagues on the Congress floor.
How could I forget that Dad
Wouldn’t bail me out 
This time like with the DUI before?
They’ll never take their eyes off me.

How can you give them access to your cell phone?
Trump’s not around to help, left you all alone.
You better watch your back before Greenberg turns snitch
Let’s review the situation that you got in with that bitch.
To be a true player you have to know how to play
Tell Tucker Carlson you’re being hassled by the DOJ.
Never admit to a word when they say
And if they claim, ah, you tell them, “Baby, no way”

But they caught me with that sugar baby (It wasn’t me)
Said we were taking Ecstasy (It wasn’t me)
They saw us on the plane together (It wasn’t me)
Found the money that I paid her (It wasn’t me)
Saw the pictures on my cell phone (It wasn’t me)
I even brought that one into my home (It wasn’t me)
I harassed the pretty interns (It wasn’t me)
I think I’m going to crash and burn.