Machine Gun Kelly Gives Hope to Weird Stoners Everywhere

Fully against their will, millions of people around the world have been exposed to the torrid love affair between actor Megan Fox, and musician Machine Gun Kelly. Their relationship has been drifting in and out of the public eye for months, but recently grabbed the full attention of the internet following a profile in British GQ.

In addition to anecdotes about building pillow forts, and breathing each other’s air, the celebrity couple shared the story of how they met. According to Fox, she approached MGK with the line “You smell like weed”  and he replied “I am weed”. 

This instant classic of an exchange has caused a marked increase in the confidence of Stoners with no social skills. For the first time in years, Kid Cudi fans are leaving their bedrooms in search of potential mates. Earth Muffins reporter John “Big Smoke” Hinckley sat down with local pothead Berry Omens for a discussion about the new phenomenon.

“Yeah man, it’s crazy, I was listening to Day n’ Nite when it happened. My buddy passed me his phone with the GQ article open and we shared a knowing look. If this moron can bag the biggest sex symbol of our generation with that line, what’s stopping me from finding love?”

“Have you noticed this same boost of confidence in other stoners you know?”

“Oh yeah, for sure. It’s like a parade of burnouts out in Boulder right now. Everyone is getting stinky and walking up to beautiful women with supreme confidence. And it’s even working for some of them. This is the biggest moment in our community since the release of Rick and Morty