This Tuesday morning, The Board of Regents announced that they unanimously selected Todd Saliman as the only finalist for the position of President. Saliman has been serving as interim President, a position which oversees the entire system of four universities, after Mark Kennedy’s departure last year. 

Saliman has worked for the University administration long before this announcement, handling the university’s budget and finance operations for more than 10 years and serving as the Chief Financial Officer. 

Notably, his handling of University finances seems to have had a strong influence on the Regent’s selection, as made clear by both their official statement and the interesting change of name for the office itself. Read the statement below:

“Todd has been a valuable member of the University of Colorado team for many years, and we’re excited to announce that he is our sole finalist. Todd has tirelessly devoted his time and effort to, quite simply, bringing home the bacon. Raking in the coin, if you will. This guy makes us a LOT of money. We know we said we were going to select from a diverse pool of candidates, but Todd’s got it going on in all the right places, if you know what we mean. We wouldn’t have picked a white guy again if he wasn’t so damn good at stacking dough. That’s also why, if he is elected as President in two weeks, we will be permanently changing the name of the office to Grand Treasurer and Lord of Coin in his honor. It’s in his honor, and we also feel that it’s more accurate for the position as a whole. 

When Todd is in our employ, the cash comes flowing in from all directions. It can’t be stopped. He’s telling us our budget and where it’s all coming from, and it gets us going. We’re spending it left and right. We have more than we know what to do with. We fool around sometimes, too. A few ladies here, a little blow there. Todd doesn’t mind, he wants us to. And we thank him. We thank him for making us feel good.”