This Tuesday morning, The Board of Regents announced that they unanimously selected Todd Saliman as the only finalist for the position of President. Saliman has been serving as interim President, a position which oversees the entire system of four universities, after Mark Kennedy’s departure last year.  Saliman has worked for the University administration long before this announcement, handling the university’s budget and finance operations for … Continue reading CU Votes “Todd” as Sole Finalist for Grand Treasurer and Lord of Coin

At the end of March, after having played a round of golf with Ernie Els and other PGA tour players, ex-President Donald Trump issued a statement confirming that he had scored a  hole-in-one on the par three seventh hole at Trump International Golf Course in West Palm Beach.  Els subsequently tweeted, “Great shot on Saturday 45! Fun to watch the ball roll in for a … Continue reading Trump Finds Hole On First Try

As the war in Ukraine continues to escalate, and the horrors are broadcast around the world,  many are left wondering what they can do to help the citizens of Ukraine. Thankfully, we live in a society of consumption and virtue signaling, so you can get all the satisfaction of helping those in need with minute changes to your consumption habits and vocabulary. Experts have agreed … Continue reading How to Help Ukraine

You bolt upright out of a hazy half-slumber in the back of your Principles of Bulgarian Microeconomics class. Oh my god. The realtor is going to show your apartment in 5 minutes, and the contents of your apartment are not fit for human eyes. This is not good.  You meant to email the realtor back and make up some excuse for them not to come. … Continue reading Apartment Tour Subjected to Lovecraftian Horror That Is Your Bedroom