Benson Center Seeks First Fascist in Residence

Professor Daniel Jacobson, Director of the Benson Center for the Study of Western Civilization announced today that the Center is seeking nominees for its first “Fascist in Residence.”  Jacobson noted that “The Benson Center’s mission is to increase intellectual and political diversity at CU, and to defend academic freedom and freedom of speech when both are under increasing attack. As one part of that mission, … Continue reading Benson Center Seeks First Fascist in Residence

Little Known Facts About CU-Boulder

The University of Colorado at Boulder was the first higher education institution in the United States to be named after a rock.  Established in 1876, the Boulder campus beat out both Flora Stone Mather College (1888) and Slippery Rock University (1889).  It was founded almost one hundred years before Stony Brook University and Simon’s Rock College. Phil Di Stefano and Russell Moore were named baldest … Continue reading Little Known Facts About CU-Boulder

Job Posting: Isolation Hall Director for Spring 2021

Job Summary The University of Colorado and our Residential Life team encourage applications for an Isolation Hall Director. The hall is the assigned living space for CU students who have tested positive or show symptoms of the coronavirus and the designated holding area for those who have died of COVID-19.  Please Note:  Male mechanical engineering majors are excluded from the isolation hall since they already … Continue reading Job Posting: Isolation Hall Director for Spring 2021

Engineering Students Discover CU is Co-Ed

The new engineering bridge  has not only led to an expansion of the already beautiful campus, but also an astonishing discovery for CU’s Mechanical engineering students. As of last week, Mechanical Engineering students discovered something they had no idea existed on the premises: a female. We asked the first Engineering student Richard “Cheeto Fingers” Fredricks his reaction to seeing a female for the first time.  … Continue reading Engineering Students Discover CU is Co-Ed

CU Boulder Announces Shift to Imaginary Instruction

Effective today, CU will shift its instruction modality to a new “imaginary” mode. This new mode, chosen in collaboration with Boulder County Public Health, is supposed to support students as they cope with burnout and stress from a seemingly endless fall semester. “Navigating this past year has been difficult,” shared Illa Ju, a representative of the Chancellor, “but we truly believe this shift will best … Continue reading CU Boulder Announces Shift to Imaginary Instruction

CU-Boulder Cannabis Research Keeps on Rolling

For several years, unbeknownst to most of the campus community, CU-Boulder has been a major center of cannabis research in the United States.  No, we’re not talking about the weekly editorial staff meetings at Earth Muffins.  The Center for Health and Addiction: Neuroscience, Genes, and Environment (the CU CHANGE Lab) has been studying the effects of cannabinoids on human beings.  The research team is led … Continue reading CU-Boulder Cannabis Research Keeps on Rolling

CU Student Government Elections Rife With Fraud

According to several sources close to the current CU Student Government Administration, tensions and emotions have been high following the leaked news that every election in recent memory has been largely fraudulent. Reportedly, a member of the Student Government stole classified documents from Mark Kennedy’s office, labeled Operation Election Fraud(little on the nose, Mark?). The whistleblower then shared the document at a closed door Student … Continue reading CU Student Government Elections Rife With Fraud

Hunter Biden Revealed to be on CU Payroll Since 2008

The Earth Muffins investigative reporting team has learned that, shortly following the 2008 presidential election, the University of Colorado hired Hunter Biden, son of Vice President-elect Joe Biden, as a consultant.  The younger Biden, who was then 38 years old, received an annual salary of $500,000 for his expertise in law and investments.  His current salary is in excess of $1,000,000. The information was obtained … Continue reading Hunter Biden Revealed to be on CU Payroll Since 2008

New Daily Sexual Health Form Required for Faculty, Staff and Students at CU

In an effort to further “protect the herd,” completion of a daily sexual health form is nowrequired for all faculty, staff and students each day they intend to be on the CU Bouldercampus. Beginning November 1 st , the daily sexual health form must be completedbefore you arrive on campus. Here is a copy of the form. 1: Do you currently have any of the … Continue reading New Daily Sexual Health Form Required for Faculty, Staff and Students at CU

November Election Confounds CU Students

It’s election season, and for CU sophomore Joshua Richardson that means endless confusion about the civic process. “I mean, it’s all so complicated, you know? I just don’t know what to do,” Joshua told Earth Muffins. On CU’s campus, Joshua is not alone: many students are confused about voting procedures. Paula Marcelino, a strategic communications major, shared her frustrations with Earth Muffins: I received my … Continue reading November Election Confounds CU Students