Tensions Growing Between Healthy and Infected in CU Dorms

As COVID-19 cases steadily rise at CU, each moment one has to spend on campus can feel like a dangerous trial. The very sight of another person is a terrifying experience . However, there is an even more shocking reality at hand: there are many CU students who actually live on campus. A frightening thought, and worse, they live all together in large buildings that … Continue reading Tensions Growing Between Healthy and Infected in CU Dorms

CU Reluctant to Refund Tuition as Giant Pool of Gold Coins Almost Full

In a recent email from Chancellor Phil DiStefano, students and staff were warned of the rising COVID-19 cases, and asked to begin complying with public health protocols. The stinger, however, came at the end of the email. “If you filthy plague rats can’t keep your masks on and stay in your dorms we’ll have to move fully online. And no, of course we won’t be … Continue reading CU Reluctant to Refund Tuition as Giant Pool of Gold Coins Almost Full

Mark Did it Again

Colorado is known to have drastic changes in weather from day to day, but Tuesday’s persistent snowfall was still notable as the earliest snow in recent memory. This may seem like another classic Colorado sixty-degree temperature swing, or the result of global warming’s mounting impact on weather patterns, but the origin of this cold summer weather is actually our very own President of CU, Mark … Continue reading Mark Did it Again

Treants Return to Boulder Amidst Continuing Coronavirus Lockdown

The sudden and shockingly fast spread of COVID-19 across the planet has thrust the world into an uncertain and frightening state of lockdown. Death is sweeping through the lands of the earth as nature entersits season of rebirth. Under normal circumstances, flowers sprouting from beneath frost and sunlight on our faces would be auspicious foretellings of easy times and warm summers to come, but these … Continue reading Treants Return to Boulder Amidst Continuing Coronavirus Lockdown

CU Opens Pre-Clown Track

Career Services is proud to announce its latest pre professional track: Pre Clown! The Pre Clown program is designed to facilitate admission to the nation’s finest clown colleges by offering all the resources, advising, and networking opportunities possible. “The origins of clowns are ancient, and we understand the historically difficult path of becoming one. We can offer specialists that can help in all parts of … Continue reading CU Opens Pre-Clown Track

Alferd Packer Grill Opens Human Flesh Station

This past Monday, Food and Dining Services at the University of Colorado unveiled a brand-new station at the Alferd Packer Restaurant & Grill in the UMC – human flesh. That’s right, joining the ranks of other stations such as El Canibal Mexican specialties, the Slumgullion Pass Grill, and Al’s Lodge Noodle Bowl is the Frank Miller Memorial Grill, named for  a companion of Alferd Packer … Continue reading Alferd Packer Grill Opens Human Flesh Station