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ABSOLUTE MAYHEM: CU Boulder Chancellor Adopts New Persona Homelander, Starts Fascist Coup

Mayhem erupted the past week as CU chancellor Phil Distefano has adopted a chaotic new persona: The Homelander. After watching the new season of The Boys, Distefano was a changed man, anonymous sources from the administrator’s office say. After viewing the season, he locked himself in his office, requesting frequent milk deliveries and different fabrics … Continue reading ABSOLUTE MAYHEM: CU Boulder Chancellor Adopts New Persona Homelander, Starts Fascist Coup

The Most Insufferable Person on Earth Goes on an Unhinged Rant, by Tom Hansen

Last Tuesday, at a party in the Lofts, Jeffery Reginald declared that he was “more based” than everyone else on campus. He was showing a girl his “indie” playlist, full of Car Seat Headrest and Tame Impala, and declaring himself an indie fan and that he was based and loved Mark Fisher. This was the … Continue reading The Most Insufferable Person on Earth Goes on an Unhinged Rant, by Tom Hansen

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